it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
