Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
