Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
