didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
