remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
