so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
