hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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