is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
