i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
