Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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