guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
