he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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