You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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