Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am naked and annoyed.
Sext me about skeletons
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
