You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
