I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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