my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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