So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
