Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
