i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
