i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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