Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
