When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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