She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
