Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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