It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
