Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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