did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
