doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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