DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
There's even glitter on my cock...
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