Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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