You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
