Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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