It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
