508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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