this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
