He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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