he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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