would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
