We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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