Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
