K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
