I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
