this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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