Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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