I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
