he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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