You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
