Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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