she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
