I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
