I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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