i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
